REALIZING OUR
VALUES
by Bela Johnson
Bela Johnson -
Inner Tapestry, Feb/March 03
What are our values? Webster defines a value as
"that which is desirable or worthy of esteem FOR
ITS OWN SAKE" (italics mine). How do we honor
and safeguard these estimable qualities we hold
dear? Do we allow others to substitute their
value system for our own deeply cherished
ideals? If we are to access the Divine Feminine
within, our Wisdom Self, it is important to
stand back and reflect on our values, rather
than analyzing or rationalizing them. Values are
deeply held feelings, and may not make logical
sense in a self serving culture which implores
us to submerge creativity and intuition so that
the shiny consumerist machine may continue to
surface and demand our attention. The feminine
reflective process is crucial for both men and
women to discover whether old values truly hold
meaning for them or merely echo more of others'
cherished beliefs than their own (parents,
respected peers, institutions). And though
discerning where the values of others have
superceded our own is a process, Toltec healer
Don Miguel Ruiz gives us tools to free ourselves
of this spell in his book, THE FOUR AGREEMENTS.
Feeling the need to justify our values within
the context of a rapidly changing world can lead
to disintegration of their deep, personal worth.
Surviving and thriving though change is part of
the human experience. Maintaining our personal
values in the face of change can be challenging.
We all want acceptance, but at what cost? At
what point do we sell our souls? In SACRED
CONTRACTS, Caroline Myss traces this
soul-selling to our inner Prostitute, an
archetype she maintains we all relate to, from
time to time. Reflecting on our values requires
that we allocate daily time during which we calm
our mental chatter in order to make room for the
voice of the Wisdom Self. This can be done by
simply sitting and quieting ourselves in
meditation, breathing through the colors of the
rainbow from red to violet to clear the CHAKRAS
or energy centers of the body, or any other
creative means to draw focus to our inner,
rather than outer life. If we postpone
reflective time in favor of simply fending off
the discomfort arising from such musings, we may
find ourselves moving into addictive patterns or
toward substances which distract us from our
inner world. Before we know it, we might
automatically begin reverting to old values
which no longer serve our choice to live more
consciously. Effective personal growth takes
place when we bring our desires and intentions
into conscious awareness. When brought to the
surface through our reflections, these deeply
held values are what help to produce an
enriching and satisfying existence. Again,
values are a FELT thing, not something we can
intellectualize. I know it may seem obvious, but
time and again I have been asked the question,
in one form or another, "What is a feeling?"
This might best be answered by clarifying what a
feeling is NOT. A feeling is not a thought. If
we are thinking our feelings, we are not feeling
them. And if we are not in touch with our
feelings, our values are lost in the mainstream
intellectualism so prevalent in current times.
Our feeling function, our capacity to relate to
one another and communicate, our sensitivity to
the feelings of others - all of these are
thought to be "feminine" traits. The energy of
the masculine, on the other hand, carries
creativity into expression and form in the
world, as well as protecting and supporting the
more vulnerable feminine qualities of the self.
Jungian Marion Woodman speaks to this right
relationship of masculine and feminine in her
many works on conscious femininity, and states
that conscious masculinity cannot emerge until
we integrate the feminine in a conscious way.
All human beings are composed of both YIN
(feminine) and YANG (masculine). In our own
culture and now the industrialized world, a
driven patriarchy holds sway. This is
detrimental both to the feminine as well as the
masculine within us. Our relationships have
become top-heavy, headstrong,
intellect-oriented. What will hold us together,
then, if our deepest feelings are denied, if
love is only a word spoken from the mind rather
than felt from the heart? In THE FISHER KING AND
THE HANDLESS MAIDEN, Jungian Robert Johnson
speaks to the wounded feeling function in
Western human beings, and says, "An Eskimo
probably would die of clumsiness if he had only
one word for snow; we are close to dying of
loneliness because we have only one word for
love." In our driven society, we have lost
reflective time and are challenged to reclaim
it. Our work, threatened by corporate takeovers
and downsizing, can become all-consuming. We
schedule our children, schedule our friends. We
are even encouraged to schedule lovemaking, in
order to "keep that spark" in our intimate
relationships. But sharing our bodies with
another when we have lost heartfelt desire is
yet another symptom of how wounded our feeling
selves have become. Many of us come home from
work exhausted, eat quickly to fill a void, and
zone out on television, not realizing the full
impact of the images we consider to be
"entertaining." As these images register deep
within our bodies, and we can be sure they do,
we become numb to violence, both outwardly as
well as inwardly. We lose respect for our
bodies, for the physical well being of others.
Our frantic pace means fast food, fast travel
and fast relationships. We are too tired and
spent to allocate valuable time for discussion,
to work out our inevitable disagreements, and
often the solution to this lack of communication
is to dissociate and attack "the other." We
polarize and see that other as "enemy," whether
it is our life partner, our rebellious teenager,
our boss, or another government. This is a
no-win situation, where both feminine as well as
masculine are devalued. There is no
"relationship," our values are lost. In an odd
way, we can thank Dan Quayle and his notorious
family values speech aired during the 1992
presidential campaign where he verbally attacked
TV's fictional single mother, Murphy Brown.
Since then, we've been hearing a lot about the
degradation of our values, particularly the
family variety. Yet although it might appear
that we've lost a more sentimental version of
home and family suggested by old television
shows such as OZZIE AND HARRIET, perhaps we are,
in a circuitous way, moving toward more
authentic relationships. As each of us becomes
aware of a deeper need to reconnect to the
Wisdom Source within, we become clearer on what
our values represent. If we honor our feelings
around these values and set our priorities
accordingly, more genuine and heartfelt
perspectives emerge. Deeper communication is
possible, as we begin to share more
meaningfully. Our relationships become tinged
with deeper hues of feeling. In order to enrich
our life perspectives and deepen our values, we
need creative solutions, need to honor the voice
of the Wisdom Self. In WALKING IN THIS WORLD,
artist Julia Cameron offers that, "Creativity is
inspiration coupled with initiative." This is
yet another affirmation that we need both our
feminine feeling values as well as our masculine
action principle to initiate creative solutions
to ANY problem. She recommends we access this
creative energy through quiet walks in Nature,
along with other introspective practices. As
winter encourages us to slow down and move
inward, perhaps we can benefit from pondering
the words of poet William Wordsworth: Sweet is
the lore which Nature brings, Our meddling
intellect Mis-shapes the beauteous form of
things We murder to dissect. Enought of science
and of art: Close up those barren leaves; Come
forth, and bring with you a heart That watches
and receives.
Bela Johnson, Medical Intuitive
P.O. Box 1127
Holden, ME 04429
(207) 843-5414
Email:
BELAJ@VERIZON.NET
Website:
http://www.belajohnson.com
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