Power, money and sex are
the three major karmic issues for the United
States as evidenced by some of the major
national issues over the past 10 or more years –
Anita Hill/Clarence Thomas, O.J. and Nicole
Simpson, Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky, Gary
Condit/Chandra Levy, the economy/stock market
roller coaster. Is it any surprise that those
who chose to incarnate in this country would
struggle with the same issues?
How many times have you
flinched when someone tells you to “claim your
power” or “stand in your power”? I have, more
times than I can count. Webster’s Dictionary
speaks to that discomfort, defining power as
“possession of control, authority, or influence
over others”. Synonyms listed for power are:
“force, authority, jurisdiction, control,
command, sway, dominion, energy, strength,
might”. Until the past few years, I’ve always
focused on the controlling, authoritative, and
manipulative aspects of power mainly because my
abusive father exhibited all these
characteristics and more. Hence, the last thing
I ever wanted to do was to claim my power!
As my spiritual and
personal growth journey has unfolded, I realized
that power doesn’t have to be the dirty word I’d
always envisioned. In fact, if I am to be an
authentic, balanced, self-responsible, peaceful,
loving, compassionate person – which has been my
goal – then claiming my power is integral to my
process.
Before we can be
power-full, it’s important to understand the
other side of the coin, power-less, where our
victim lives. Victims feel worthless, dependent,
fearful, anxious, stressed, burned out, left
out, angry, jealous and betrayed. Victims,
believing they have no choices, frequently use
“should, have to, must, supposed to”. They
expect to make mistakes, mistrust themselves and
others, and believe they don’t deserve the
bounty of life while perceiving there’s never
enough of anything. Victims focus outwardly,
looking to some one, some thing or some place to
bring them peace and happiness. Victims, who
have difficulty receiving, give from a place of
emptiness rather than fullness spawned by a
strong “need to be needed”. From these beliefs
come controlling, blaming, manipulative,
judgmental, reactive and co-dependent behaviors.
One of my huge “aha’s” from attending Adult
Children of Alcoholics 12-Step meetings was how
my need to be needed attracted mostly needy
people into my life to fulfill my need! A
perfect vibrational match!
Now that the Victim is
fully present, how do you transform her/him into
a Victor?
- Increase your
awareness. Notice which of the above
descriptions resonate with you and/or list
other behaviors you exhibit that are fear
based. Feel the energy of those
beliefs/behaviors and where they appear in
your body. If your list is long, like mine,
choose one or two to focus on first.
- Allow the feelings
of the wounds that underlie those
beliefs/behaviors to surface and release them
through verbal expression, writing, moving,
drawing, painting, - whatever works for you.
- Embrace the
gifts in each of your Victim’s beliefs and
actions through talking with your Victim.
Remember this journey has love and compassion
as its healing agents. All of your parts,
including your Shadows, have the same goal –
to help and support you. Therefore, as you
begin to change, your Victim could grow into
an even larger presence in your life as it
fears it’s going to be replaced/laid
off/fired.
- Create a new “job
description” for your Victim. What
assistance do you want in your new powerful
life? This is critical to the healing process.
As I’ve prepared to write this article, my
Victim has been hugely present giving me all
the necessary feelings and experiences to
write about, thereby transforming my
perception of it from a major block and
nuisance to a great working partner.
How do Victors behave?
Victors feel connected to All That Is, from
which comes the faith and belief they have in
themselves and the abundance of the Universe.
They treat themselves with love, compassion,
nurturing, and gentleness, finding a balance
between rest and activity for their bodies,
minds and spirits by trusting in perfected
timing. They feel the freedom of always having
choices, follow their hearts in making those
choices while taking full responsibility for the
results. They feel deserving of all the Universe
has to offer. They are not attached to people,
places and things knowing that power comes from
the centered place inside. Standing in their
truth, they exude joy, peace, confidence and
authenticity.
Maybe it’s time to give
Webster a new definition!
Spirit Matters
Judith Joyce
4507 Main Street
Waitsfield, VT 05673
802-496-9237; FAX:
802-496-9238
E-mail:
jmjoyce@spirit-matters.com
Website:
http://www.spirit-matters.com
Copyright
© by Spirit Matters, 2001
