We hear the word so often,
these days: transformation. What does it mean?
Does it mean our lives will completely change?
Does it require us to change the way we think
and talk? Does it mean we'll have to leave a
marriage, say goodbye to old friends? I know
these questions well, because I have asked them
myself, over the years. There are all kinds of
transformations that happen in life, whether we
consciously embrace them or not. For
transformation MEANS change: change of
condition, form, appearance, nature or function,
according to Webster's. And most of us know the
saying: the only certainty is that things will
and do change.
Transformation happens
when something has outlived its purpose in our
lives. We humans grow through experience, though
this can often be adverse or unpleasant. We
cannot control what others say or do (though
some of us may certainly try) but we CAN control
our responses. I won't say that modifying
responses while we are being triggered by
another is easy. Yet we CAN encourage such
modifications, over time. We can transform
ourselves through honest self evaluation. This
requires reflection. It requires time alone,
where prayer and self forgiveness are almost
essential, otherwise we can become hypercritical
and judgmental. This deprecation can lead to
damaging our self esteem which will not help us
change in the long run, but only keep us down.
And while it is never easy to admit to our very
human shortcomings such as our need for control,
gaining insights through such reflection can
nourish our relationship to ourselves as well as
to others. We can learn to stop blaming others
for our unhappiness or discomfort and look to
ourselves to change what needs changing. In
other words, we can transform our thinking,
transform our way of being in the world.
Over the past decade, I
have actively practiced intuitive medicine where
I receive visual images which, along with
hands-on energy work, facilitate movement and/or
healing in an individual. This is even more
complex to describe than it sounds, for these
images can be key to a person's deeper
understanding of themselves. Over and over
again, images that continue to recur for clients
are those indicating the soul's need to express
itself creatively, spontaneously and joyously
through us. What holds this emergence back?
Almost categorically it is lack of self worth
and a belief that we can't have what we most
desire. We even make excuses to hold ourselves
back: no money, no time, no training. My
response to these excuses, whether they come
from others or from the little voice in my head
during my own times of doubt, is "no faith." It
doesn't matter what we call it or how we relate
to it: we can achieve more by asking for Divine
intervention than we can know. We can take small
steps to know ourselves better, leading to a
more authentic presence in the world. We CAN
transform. We CAN change. And this can mean a
shifting of priorities. Yet the beauty in this
shifting is that things which no longer benefit
us, no longer support us, tend to fall away.
Yes, change can be scary. Humans are creatures
of habit. But if we're feeling miserable or at a
dead-end creatively, what do we have to lose by
trying?
As for intentional
transformation work and how it affects
relationships, moving into a greater
understanding of how our own energy works in
conjunction with the Divine can provide immense
joy as well as challenges. When we gain a
greater perspective on our relation to the
cosmos, we invite magic back into our lives,
almost like the wonder a child experiences. Our
lives may begin to make more sense as we gain
clarity, and in our excitement we might become
overzealous in attempting to force what we have
learned on friends and loved ones. We may begin
to think we know what's best for THEM, because
certain things work better for US. Yet each has
her or his own path. As no two snowflakes are
alike, neither are human beings. Learning that
we can affect change through personal
transformation gives us a great opportunity to
likewise embrace compassion for others who
resist such deeper understanding. As a friend
who is a longtime AA member says, "Every day I
am learning more about patience, tolerance,
kindliness and love. Nothing I have ever done in
my life has been harder, nor more rewarding."
